I left Los Angeles in 1998 and moved to Berkeley. I left my whole life behind: parents, family, friends, career, etc. You know what they say about moving for love…
I left my best friend Dave behind. Dave and I knew each other in kindergarten (so he says) and were in the same class in 3rd grade. I moved to his block at about that same time and we walked to and from school through 8th grade. I know kids don’t do it much now, but walking was normal for us.
We went to different high schools and didn’t see each other nearly as frequently. But it was enough to keep the connection. We went to college an hour apart and saw each other a bit and then during vacations. And the connection was strong.
After college we came and went a bit. We were roommates for a while and always friends. We saw each other through bad relationships. We played volleyball weekly on the beach. The whole career thing kept us busy, but we always found time to hang out. My 20s were pretty damn fun.
Since moving to Berkeley and then Sacramento, life has become more and more complicated. Super busy careers, marriage, son for each of us, etc. We don’t see or talk to each other very often. Maybe once or twice a year. There’s nothing bad; we’ve just moved on with our lives.
When I visited my parents a week or two ago, I knew it was going to be busy. Of course, my parents wanted to hang out with my wife and me some and with KD a ton. Went to the beach, had some awesome meals at my old favorite haunts, caught a Dodger game… Some of my LA favorites.
I also was able to carve out a few hours with Dave. I admit, I was wondering what it would be like. After all, we haven’t been in-touch much. Deep down, I knew the connection was as strong as ever. Still, I wondered. Fortunately, all was the same. We walked to coffee on the route we’d taken in junior high. We talked about all the old stuff. The inside jokes and the memories are clear. We went by his parents’ house for a “hello” and I was struck by it all. I knew what was the same and what was different. There is a cookie drawer they still call the “Steve drawer.” I suppose I’ve always loved cookies…
My point is simple: I encourage you to take a moment to think back to your best friend from forever ago. Do you see him or her regularly? Talk on the phone? Has your busy life led to some distance but you still see each other or talk once in a while? Are you in-touch only through social media? Have you lost touch completely? Regardless, do the best you can to connect, be it in person or through another medium. Reminisce a bit. And tell him/her how you feel.
As usual, this therapist, parent and spouse is walking through life, doing the best I can.
Until next time…