If you follow my blog, you know I’m blowing things up with thoughts about parenting our 16-year-old son, KD. Our relationship is changing at a roadrunner’s pace. Last time in father-and-son-clear-the-air things got pretty salty between KD and me until eventually we figured things out. But now, it’s time to head in a different direction and look at the value of memories.
Last weekend, one of my best friends Lud shared Collide, an acoustic song by Howie Day. Immediately, the dam broke, and the memories flooded me. (Check it out on YouTube. It’s a good one.)
In college, I visited Berkeley a few times. I remember saying, “I love visiting, but I’d never want to live here.” As the world spins, a decade later I moved from LA to Berkeley. I left my parents, sister, a large friend group and Santa Monica Beach behind. It was hard, but you know what happens when you follow love.
Fortunately, it was a pretty soft landing, as my brother and some of my best friends from college lived nearby. And, of course, my now wife was there. One day Lud called and asked if I wanted to go to a show at the Berkeley Community Theater. He’d called Ticketmaster in Fresno (a technique back then) and scored front row tickets in the balcony for a guy named Dave Matthews who played an acoustic set with an amazing guitar player, Tim Reynolds. I’d never heard of Dave, but I figured “what the heck, let’s go!” He came over, we barbecued on my brand-new Weber grill and had a few cokes on my back deck. He shared some Dave tunes, and then we walked to the show.
And it was amazing. I’ve seen the Grateful Dead a few times, The Who, The Police, and a few other marque acts. And this was, by far, my favorite show. When I reminded Lud of this last weekend, we had a bro moment of fist bumps and “I love you man” over text. The show was decades ago, but it seemed like just last week.
We responsible adults focus on paying our bills, changing the oil, saving for taxes and college and retirement. We have to do these things. And life is expensive. And sometimes I get stuck focusing on these responsibilities. And that’s not fun. I lose sight of the things that are worth doing, even if it costs a few dollars. Was it necessary for me to buy the new Weber above? Probably not; the old one was (barely) functional, and I probably could have limped along until summer. But now, I’m ready to have Lud come up for a proper BBQ with KD, Captain Mommy and me. We’ll splurge on provisions and relax. We’ll hopefully make more good memories. As my client S said yesterday, the older we get, the fewer opportunities we have to make memories. It’s worth dropping a few dollars to make the memories that will continue to pay off as the years go by.
Until next time…
If you aren’t enjoying life as much as you used to and want some help figuring out why, I can help. Reach out.