As COVID-19 numbers continue to improve in CA, our son’s K-8 school just opened-up in-person learning, 5 days/week, for the last month of the year. Actually, it is only for middle school. The rest of the students continue to be hybrid. The middle schoolers can continue attending 100% remotely, should they/their parents choose.
KD is in 7th grade and 13, so we had a choice to make. We went back and forth on it, and ultimately we chose to … So as to avoid any judgement, I won’t say which we chose.
Since I’m a therapist, when facing this decision, I considered developmental stages for kids. A hallmark of development for teens is that they depend much more on their peer group for decision-making, rather than their parents. This is normal. It’s part of the ongoing separation process kids go through. By being forced to stay at home because of concerns about COVID-19, the separation was stalled. And I figured that, even though it was only for a month, returning could help.
I know this dynamic far too well. Late in my senior year of high school, I was almost killed in a drunk driving accident. Due to head injuries, I was in a coma for three days and had several seizures. My memory was shot. I was all set to leave the nest and head to college. Instead, my parents made the decision that I would stay local for a year, so I was able to recover. It was the right decision. Still, I was demoralized and frustrated to be stuck. My friends went away to college, and I didn’t. My development was stunted. By holding KD at home, I was concerned about him having a similar experience.
Another concern for me is that his learning would be stunted by attending school remotely for the end of 6th grade and most of 7th grade. My hope is that kids who go back would do a bit of catching up. I guess most kids will have gigantic holes in their learning, and teachers will try to catch the kids up next year. So, it might not matter all that much. But still, it couldn’t hurt to get more time in-person.
On top of this, our kids haven’t had a true vacation since Christmas 2019. Instead, one day rolls into the next. Weekdays really don’t feel much different from weekends and vacations. This dynamic was exacerbated by the fires last summer we had in California. We were stuck regardless. No real summer vacation…
I’m hopeful that kids returning to school now will assist them in feeling like there’s an end and hopefully a new beginning in the fall. They will experience the rituals of graduation and moving on. (And of course, we’ve missed other rituals like weddings, funerals, and vacations. Hopefully we will have those experiences this summer…)
And finally, I’ve heard several parents talk about how wonderfully delicious it is to be alone in the house. No complaining. No helping with zoom school. Adult conversations. Etc.
Again, without saying whether or not KD went back to school, I can understand why parents would do that.
Until next time…