You probably aren’t going to see grandma for Thanksgiving. Her health is vulnerable, and you can’t risk exposing her. You probably aren’t going to see grandpa for Christmas, because it isn’t safe. Your teen’s school is probably going to meet remotely for the rest of the year. If your son is living at home and attending college remotely, hoping to be in-person in the Spring, he probably won’t go. If your daughter is home from college for an extended Thanksgiving/Christmas break, there will probably be a surge in the COVID-19 numbers, and the dorms will probably be closed for the rest of the year.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not a complete Denny Downer. After all, “they” say that the vaccines should be available for the general population over the next few months. So that’s fantastic. But that’s the future. For now, numbers are surging and being safer means you’ll be at home for the holidays.
And this is awful. It’s devastating. It’s terrible. Most of us are lonely and anxious. Many of us are depressed. The COVID-19 virus is driving our choices and intensifying our senses of grief and loss.
And when we are grieving, it’s normal for our thoughts to be all over the place. We might deny that the virus is “real” and go out anyway. We might try to figure out ways to see our family and friends. But unless we’re willing to break quarantine, we probably won’t. The “experts” say sitting socially distanced outside “might be” relatively safe. But it’s not very inviting to do when you think about cold, rain, snow… We might feel angry at others for not taking COVID-19 seriously. These thoughts are all legitimate, and you should feel them. But bottom line, the truth is the truth, and we need to consciously work toward accepting it.
And when we reach a level of acceptance, we’ll be freed up and can shift our narrative. We can acknowledge both our sadness and feelings of loss AND find enjoyment and meaning in other places.
For me it’s going to mean playing in the garden with my family, perfecting my cold brew coffee, and smoking a turkey. Also, the DMV pulled my license eight years ago due to epilepsy, and I got it back this week. So maybe we’ll take a drive and go look at the changing leaves or something. And it’s also my birthday this weekend. So that’s fun. I’ll definitely miss what we usually do. But now that I’ve shifted my narrative, I’m optimistic. I hope the same is true for you.
Until next time…