We all have our special places. Maybe it’s a restaurant in Paris you go to every-other-year with your closest friends. Maybe it’s the top of the water tower in your hometown where you had your first kiss. Maybe it’s burger place you went to with your bros in college. Who knows…
My wife and I have a special place. In college we met working at a summer camp, where I also made lifelong friendships.
And last Sunday we had the yearly reunion. Except on Saturday someone called and asked why we hadn’t gone. The reunion was Saturday; we’d missed.
There are plenty of reunions that “nobody” really wants to attend. Who wants to go to your 25th high school reunion, where the fools we knew in high school still act like fools? And after spending a $1,000 on a plane ticket and hotel you realize you still aren’t in the “in” group (which feels just fine to your adult self) and commit not to return anytime soon.
But this was a reunion we really didn’t want to miss. It’s one of our summer highlights. But we’ve been so busy this summer and done “tag team parenting” that most days that we haven’t had time to talk, let alone have quality family time. I’ve also spent the rest of my time seeing clients and lying flat on my back with a debilitating disc thing. No surprise we got confused on the dates.
I felt my feelings for about 10 seconds and then went into stereotypical dude mode and started looking for solutions. There were about four possible plans that might have sort have worked. But at the end of the day, regardless of what we might have done, the lost time at camp would have stung. Instead, we chilled out and got ready to spend Sunday in 105 degrees.
We woke up and let the day unfold naturally. I lay on the couch and watched the ENTIRE Dodgers and the ENTIRE Giants game. I NEVER watch this much TV. Sure I was still throwing a bit of a pity party, but the day was going ok.
Then we pulled ourselves out the door and headed to our neighborhood cabana club. We grabbed a shady spot, hit the pool, and then I threw some sausages on the BBQ. It was pretty tough to complain. But it wasn’t camp.
Before we knew it, one of my kid’s friends and dad showed-up. Two seconds later another two friends and their parents showed up. Next we knew it we’d shared some BBQ and chilled out while the kids ran around. And it was incredibly pleasant.
As I fell asleep, I reflected on how trying to solve things immediately would have kept me from experiencing my feelings of sadness and disappointment. And ultimately, I probably would have still felt let down. Instead, I took a few minutes to slow my mind down and take a few breaths. Then, I sat back and waited, without forcing it. And the day developed organically, and it was good. Damn good!