In my last post, Cutting: Teens and their Parents, I talked about what happens when parents learn that their teen has been cutting and what they can do. Today, I’m migrating and talking about shaving.
I’ve had a beard for years. I like the look. I keep it trimmed. Sunday was the right time to clean-up. I set the trimmer at 2.5 and mindlessly got to work. When I started shaving the middle of my beard, I was horrified to see that I’d messed up. As I’d zoned out, I’d somehow changed it to a setting of 1. I was a mess.
F… I thought. What to do? Somewhat impulsively, I considered shaving the entire thing and starting over. But that’s not my preferred look. So, I shaved the beard and the middle of my chin. I kept my goatee at a 2.5. I like the look. It wasn’t my intent, but I was faced with a decision. Rather than give up, I pivoted and changed course.
Sure, this is a bit silly. But it’s a crucial point. We are often faced with a moment when our strategy doesn’t go as planned. We get down on ourselves. We tell ourselves we knew it wouldn’t work. We tried but couldn’t do it. We feel frustrated that we didn’t solve our problem. We stop for a moment, freeze and likely give up.
Alternatively, we can try something else. We recognize our dilemma, take a deep breath and PIVOT. We tweak what we were doing or try something new altogether. It still might not work, and, ultimately, we might decide it’s unsolvable. Or we might pivot again. Why give up when we can pivot and try other things?
Teaching our kids about the importance of pivoting (a.k.a. emotional flexibility) is a crucial part of their development. Life is hard. Life is challenging. And kids need to develop the ability to not give up.
Until next time…
Been thinking about talking to a therapist but just haven’t picked-up the phone? Here’s your reminder. Reach out.
