Steve DeBenedetti-Emanuel, LMFT
In my teens and early 20s, I knew that I wanted to work with people, but I wasn’t sure how it would look. After finishing college at Santa Clara University, I did a year of volunteer work at a day shelter for homeless men. Although I loved the work, I was eventually worn down by the ongoing poverty I witnessed, and I struggled with some anxiety and depression. After trying to figure things out on my own, I realized I needed a counselor’s help. And over time, I felt a lot less depressed and anxious. One day, my therapist said to me, “Have you ever thought about being a therapist? I think you’d enjoy it and be really good at it.” And the lightbulb went off. I had my career path.
My therapist also suggested I gain a bit more life experience before going to grad school. Since he hadn’t let me down yet, I followed his lead and taught middle school for two years. Feeling ready to take the next step, I entered the graduate program at Pepperdine University.
The road to licensure was long, but it provided me the opportunity to gain experience counseling in a variety of settings. I worked in several elementary and high schools and several community counseling agencies. These provided me with the opportunity to develop my skills helping people cope with diverse issues, such as depression, anxiety, interpersonal problems, parenting challenges and academic struggles. Much of my work today is focused on helping adolescents and adults with these challenges.
Over time, I’ve learned just how important it is for me to seek balance. I need it to feel happy and satisfied. So, when I’m not working, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. I love to BBQ with my son, read, exercise, drink great coffee and tend to my succulents.
I also see a therapist. People are sometimes surprised when I say this. I think they think that I should have my act together 24-7 and somehow not “need” therapy. But like everyone else, I have challenges and sometimes need a guide to help me figure things out. If I’m not on solid ground emotionally, it makes it hard to be good at what I do.
Part of why therapy is helpful is that I keep in-touch of what it feels like to be “on the other couch” as a client. I know what it feels like to be “emotionally naked” and tell my therapist as much as I’m comfortable saying. The vulnerability I feel helps me keep in touch with how difficult it can be to open up to another person. This helps me be more understanding and compassionate.
Over the years, I’ve had numerous therapists. Not all of them were a good match for me. It sometimes took some time and a few “test drives” to find the right person. Reach out to see if I’d be the right person for you.
