I’m a decent juggler. Not all that crazy stuff like juggling swords or things lit on fire. But I’m solid with three balls or beanbags. If I try to do any more than that, I drop all the balls. And these days, I’m trying to juggle 5. And it’s not going well.
The other day, Captain Mommy (my wife) gently “suggested” I find a therapist. Although I haven’t asked him directly, I’m sure KD (my 15-year-old son) would agree.
I don’t disagree that it’d be helpful. But the thought of wading through all the possible therapists to find someone is exhausting. And even if I find someone, there’s no guarantee that it’d be a good match. To paraphrase Irvin Yalom (a giant in the therapy world,) it’s the relationship between a person and their therapist that’s healing. So assuming I start my search, I better choose well. I’m not sure I have the energy to search too hard.
Since I know that I’m not the only one who’s looking for a therapist, it’s a good time to share one from the archives…
During the worst of the Pandemic, demand for therapy far outweighed supply. It was nearly impossible to find a therapist who had openings. At least a dozen times, people had called over 20 people before finding me. Some people had the resources or were in a mental health crisis and paid me out of pocket. Others had a PPO and were both able to see me and get a reimbursement.
What I’ve found is that some people who have a PPO don’t know that they can be reimbursed for part of the fee for counseling. Instead, they think, “Jenny costs $200. I can’t pay that much.” Then they give-up and don’t get the help they deserve. But if you have a PPO, you likely have benefits that would make things more affordable. If I had a PPO and were looking for a new therapist, this is what I’d do.
Navigating Insurance
Start by calling your insurance company and asking for a list of therapists who are “in-network.” Then, start calling around. If you’re lucky, you’ll find someone who you like and takes your insurance, and you’ll only have a co-pay. Most of the time, you’ll be unlucky. I fall in this category. I once tried 15 therapists on my list. Ten didn’t call me back. 5 did and told me that were booked.
At this point, you’ll enter the “out of network” zone. This means you can see most anyone you want. You pay them their fee, and they provide what’s called a “Superbill.” This is a receipt with codes, including a diagnosis. You then submit it for reimbursement. (Some therapists will submit for you. But this is rare.)
This can bring a dilemma. If you submit a superbill, you will have a mental health diagnosis in your “permanent file,” and you don’t know where it will go and who might see it. To avoid this some people pay out of pocket. (For example, I’ve worked with young people thinking about the Air Force/Naval Academy/etc. They were concerned that a mental health diagnosis could affect their admission.)
Frankly, I don’t think most of us care. I’ve used my PPO several times. I am epileptic and the DMV pulled my license and it’s in my medical records. Some minor diagnosis isn’t going to be deal breaker.
Now, how do you find a therapist? Obviously, the best is a “word of mouth” referral. If you call a therapist and say, “I got your name from “X” and I’d like to make an appointment,” you’re likely to get a call back. We therapists don’t want to screw up a referral source.
If you don’t have a direct referral, there are a couple strategies. First Google the type of therapist you want (e.g., “best teen therapist in Sacramento.”) On your phone/desktop you’ll see a map on the right side with several names. Don’t trust that these are necessarily the best therapists. Google has all sorts of mysterious criteria that go into it. Keep scrolling until you find people you like, and then pick-up the phone. Many therapists have websites, which will help you narrow your search.
Making the call
When you call, 90% of the time, a therapist won’t pick up. Many of us don’t leave messages, assuming they’ll call back. Don’t do this; most therapists won’t call you back. On the message tell them that you have a PPO and want to pay “out of pocket” and get a superbill. This terminology increases the likelihood you’ll get a quicker response.
Some of them might call you back to tell you they’re full. They should offer names of trusted colleagues to call who they think might have openings. If they don’t, ask. Then make calls and tell them who you got their name from. Sharing this name will increase the likelihood you’ll get a call back.
Unfortunately, others won’t call you back. I think it’s their lazy way of saying they’re full. It isn’t professional or kind, but it’s the way it is. I know that this can be discouraging. Don’t give-up. It isn’t personal.
In addition to a Google search there are sites where you can get a list of therapists and their profiles and specialties. A couple are goodtherapy.org or Psychologytoday.com. If you live in Sacramento, a good resource is sacwellness.com. You’ll have many therapists to choose from. Then start calling around. It might take you a while, but you should find therapists who have openings. When you search, you don’t have to worry about where they work. If you are physically in the state of California, you can see any therapist remotely. (I’m a Marriage and Family Therapist, and these are your rights. I can’t speak for therapists with other licenses.)
Pro tip: just because you’ve found a therapist with an opening, it doesn’t mean you should see them. “They” say that the number one indicator of successful therapy is the connection between therapist and client. If you aren’t feeling a connection when you first talk on the phone, don’t waste your time or money. Believe me, I’ve wasted time and money a couple of times over. I still kick myself for this.
Bottom line, it can be tough to find a therapist who is a good match. But if you have a PPO, following the steps above will increase the likelihood that you’ll be meeting with the right therapist ASAP.
Until next time…
Disclaimer: the specifics of insurance are tricky. So don’t what I’m saying as the absolute truth. Always check with your insurance company for specific benefits.
If you live in CA and are ready to see someone, I’m available. Reach out.
