# Steve DeBenedetti-Emanuel, LMFT - River City Counseling Sacramento > Helping Teens, Individuals, and Couples ## Posts - [Self-esteem. Let’s build each other up](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2026/07/31/self-esteem-lets-build-each-other-up.md): In my last post, College, Parents, Same as it Ever Was, I shared an article I wrote for a local paper 15 years ago. It reflected on the summer before your... - [College, Parents, Same as it Ever Was](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2026/07/22/college-parents-same-as-it-ever-way.md): Over the years, I've written two columns for Valley Community Newspapers. You and Your Teen and The Dad Navigates Troubled Waters. (Simon and Garfunkel... - [My son is off to college. What will this dad do?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2026/06/09/my-son-is-off-to-college-what-will-this-dad-do-2.md): Kevin, my 18-year-old son, and I have always been close. Maybe it had something to do with the NICU and me reducing work hours to hold him most of the time.... - [Therapy was dumb: my mom made me go](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2026/05/08/therapy-was-dumb-my-mom-made-me-go.md): When I was 17, I got in a car with a drunk driver and was almost killed. I had seizures and was in a coma for a few days. When I came out of it, I was... - [Alzheimer’s: what’s love got to do with it?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2026/04/30/alzheimers-whats-love-got-to-do-with-it.md): If you’ve been following my blog, you know that my wife was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s last summer. Our family has pivoted to life with... - [What happens when things change for your family? You pivot](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2025/11/08/what-happens-when-things-change-for-your-family-you-pivot.md): If you've been following along, you know that my wife Stephanie was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. In an attempt to be transparent, we've talked about our... - [My wife talks about her life with Alzheimer’s](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2025/10/28/my-wife-talks-about-her-life-with-alzheimers.md): If you've been following my blog, you know that my wife was diagnosed recently with early onset Alzheimer's. When hard things happen to families, it's common... - [Life When Your Mom Has Alzheimer’s](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2025/10/16/life-when-your-mom-has-alzheimers.md): If you read my last blog Our family has pivoted to life with Alzheimers you know that my wife Stephanie (aka Captain Mommy) was diagnosed recently... - [Our family has pivoted to life with Alzheimer’s](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2025/09/17/our-family-has-pivoted-to-life-with-alzheimers.md): Mike Tyson once said, “Everyone has a plan ’till they get punched in the mouth.” And we’ve been hit in the mouth…too many times. Kevin was a NICU kid... - [Parents, are you listening? Our kids need to talk.](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2025/08/22/parents-are-you-listening-our-kids-want-to-talk.md): I was too freaked out to watch The Exorcist. Once Linda Blair's head spins 360 degrees by a demon, I'm out. And yet, the beginning of the school year leaves my... - [Father and son sit back and laugh about baseball](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2025/06/10/father-and-son-sit-back-and-laugh-about-baseball.md): I'm a Dodgers fan, but my wife Captain Mommy and our 17 year old son Kevin love the Giants, and we watch tons of games. And I root along (unless they play the... - [Pivot again. It’s good for business](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2025/06/04/pivot-again-its-good-for-business.md): The word I use most often is pivot. When things don't go well, pivot. If the restaurant is closed, pivot. If business is down, pivot. The ability to pivot... - [Thanksgiving: family, pie and a race to run](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2024/11/27/thanksgiving-family-pie-and-a-race-to-run.md): A few hours ago, Israel and Hezbollah announced a cease fire. And that's something to be thankful for. But there are plenty of other things going on that can... - [Family, holidays and keeping food off the walls](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2024/11/01/family-holidays-and-keeping-food-off-the-walls.md): I typically share this post at Christmas time. But with the election coming next week, holiday plans are on our minds. Political divide within families can... - [Don’t forget to Pivot](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2024/08/28/dont-forget-to-pivot.md): In my last post, Cutting: Teens and their Parents, I talked about what happens when parents learn that their teen has been cutting and what they can do.... - [Cutting: Teens and their Parents](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2024/08/21/cutting-teens-and-their-parents.md): In my last post, Dad and son talk pizza and get the munchies, my son asked me about my drug use. I was 100% transparent, and it was a healthy talk. Today, I... - [Dad and son talk pizza and get the munchies](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2024/08/13/dad-and-son-talk-pizza-and-get-the-munchies.md): If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know that my son KD and I have had deeper and deeper conversations as he has gotten older. In my last one... - [Parenting: FaceTime and the Wild West](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2024/05/20/parenting-cell-phones-and-the-wild-west.md): In my latest blog, Father, Son, Communication, ADHD and the Pandemic, KD (my 16-year-old son) and I spoke about the emotional impacts of the Pandemic on... - [Father, Son, Communication, ADHD and the Pandemic](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2024/04/22/father-son-communication-adhd-and-the-pandemic.md): As I mentioned in my last blog This Father and My Son Clear the Air, KD (or 16 year old son) and I have some of our deepest, honest, and most challenging... - [Memories: Howie, Dave Matthews, Weber and Lud](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2024/03/19/elementor-7501.md): If you follow my blog, you know I’m blowing things up with thoughts about parenting our 16-year-old son, KD.  Our relationship is changing at a... - [This Father and My Son Clear the Air](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2024/02/15/father-and-son-clear-the-air.md): If you’ve been reading my recent posts, you know that KD (our 16-year-old son) and I are having lots of deep conversations at the BBQ. In my last... - [Parenting: this dad sits back, asks questions and listens as his son makes decisions.](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2024/01/25/the-dad-helps-his-teen-son-make-hard-decisions.md): In my last post The Dad and Son grow close and eat cookies I talked about the shifts I'm going through in my relationship with our son, KD, who is 16. It... - [The Dad and Son grow close and eat cookies](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2024/01/20/the-dad-and-son-grow-close-and-eat-cookies.md): At our son KD’s 3rd or 4th birthday, his grandmother made an amazing chocolate buttercream cake. As I watched KD wolf his down, he turned bright... - [ADHD: It’s not just for children anymore](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2023/10/11/6889.md): When T read my latest blog, grief to anxiety and depression to adhd he told me that it was really well written, but he suggested I expand a bit more on the... - [Grief to anxiety and depression to ADHD](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2023/10/07/grief-to-anxiety-and-depression-to-adhd.md): My sister died on January 1, after a brief struggle with cancer. The rest of the year hasn’t been much better. Things are good at home, and I couldn’t have... - [Emotional Affairs: a look at healing](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2023/09/13/emotional-affairs-a-look-at-healing.md): I’ve been working with “John” for a couple months. He’s one of those super bright guys who works in a highly creative field. Much of his therapy... - [The family left town for San Francisco. We didn’t make it.](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2023/07/13/6740.md):  July 1 was Captain Mommy and my 23rd anniversary. The prediction was for 108 degrees, which made for a perfect day to pack the car and head to San... - [My teen needs someone to talk to](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2023/05/19/my-teen-needs-someone-to-talk-to.md): I went to a training recently, and the person encouraged us to write about themes we consistently hear about in our office. Thinking on it, I find that many... - [Random Acts of Kindness](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2023/02/08/random-acts-of-kindness.md): A while ago, I saw my train in the distance, and I knew it was about three minutes away. I was about 90 seconds out, so I knew I was golden. I stopped... - [Find a therapist and learn to juggle.](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2022/12/27/find-a-therapist-and-learn-to-juggle.md): I’m a decent juggler. Not all that crazy stuff like juggling swords or things lit on fire. But I’m solid with three balls or beanbags. If I try to do any... - [Christmas, your family or mine?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2022/12/22/christmas-your-family-or-mine.md): Christmas is approaching, and it’s time for FAMILY. Although there are plenty of reasons to opt out (e.g. lingering concerns about COVID-19 and travel or... - [MLB, NBA and Family Time](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2022/12/16/mlb-nba-and-family-time.md): Mr Swanson wants the big $$$! KD (our 15-year-old son) is a huge Giants fan, and I roll hardcore with the Dodgers. This morning he told me the Giants have... - [Trauma, what can help us cope?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2022/10/20/trauma-what-can-help-us-cope.md): In my last two blogs, Trauma, trauma, trauma & trauma? and trauma lets dive deeper, I looked at my feelings about my son beginning high school. I expected... - [Trauma, let’s dive deeper](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2022/09/16/trauma-lets-dive-deeper.md): In Thursday's post Trauma, trauma, trauma & trauma? l looked at the trauma I experienced from my son's birth and early childhood. He was about to start... - [Trauma, trauma, trauma & trauma?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2022/09/15/trauma-trauma-trauma-trauma.md): I started this look at trauma a few weeks back. School has subsequently started, but I think this is still relevant. KD (my 14-year-old son) is starting high... - [Marriage Counselors teach how to pull weeds and clear-up issues](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2022/07/15/here-are-more-tips-from-marriage-counselors.md): In my last blog, 7 marriage counselors share their #1 tip for couples, I passed along an ace in the hole from seven of my favorite marriage counselors. Since... - [7 marriage counselors share their #1 tip](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2022/07/08/7-marriage-counselors-share-their-1-tip.md): In my last post I was angry. I don’t owe an apology. Yes I do, I looked at the importance of apologizing. When we get angry and express ourselves in... - [I was angry. I don’t owe an apology. Yes I do.](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2022/06/30/i-was-angry-i-dont-need-to-apology-yes-i-do.md): First, after a two-year break for COVID-19, I'm again meeting with people inside my office,  in Midtown, Sacramento. If you’d like further information,... - [How to find a therapist: tips from a pro](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2022/06/24/how-to-find-a-therapist-tips-from-a-pro.md): During the worst of the Pandemic, demand for therapy far outweighed supply. It was nearly impossible to find a therapist who had openings.  At least a dozen... - [Drinking, Driving, Epilepsy and EEG](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2022/05/25/drinking-driving-epilepsy-and-eeg.md): For those of you who read my last piece, you know that I'm epileptic. When I was 17, my best friend and I shared a six-pack and got in his car. Since my car... - [We Drank and Drove. I Almost Died](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2022/05/23/we-drank-and-drove-i-almost-died.md): On April 20, 1985, my best friend and I had a typical weekend night. We bought beers at a local spot that sold to underage kids. We probably shared a six-pack... - [Two teen boys talk directly to parents about their emotions and thoughts of suicide](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2022/05/12/two-teen-boy-clients-talk-about-what-they-need-from-their-parents.md): A couple of weeks ago, the Sacramento community was shaken by the news that a 15-year-old, sophomore boy at Jesuit High School died by suicide. Although I see... - [March Madness and Family All Day Every Day](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2022/03/24/march-madness-and-family-all-day-every-day.md): It's that time again. One of my favorite times of the year. March Madness. I have Kentucky in a 50 cents pool. With their overtime loss, I'm out for the 15th... - [We’re staying home for Christmas again this year](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2021/12/15/were-staying-home-for-christmas-again-this-year.md): In  my last post, I looked at how to have as enjoyable time as possible at our or our spouse's parents' house for Christmas. For a variety of reasons,... - [Oh Boy, it’s Time for Christmas and Family Fireworks](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2021/12/09/oh-boy-its-time-for-christmas-and-family-fireworks.md): Christmas is approaching, and it's time for FAMILY. Although there are plenty of reasons to opt out (e.g. concerns about COVID-19 and travel or wanting to see... - [Buster Posey is retiring. What can this dad do?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2021/11/03/buster-posey-is-retiring-what-can-this-dad-do.md): A half hour ago I got the alert that Buster Posey is retiring. I'm a lifelong Dodgers fan, but I immediately felt very sad. Captain Mommy and KD (my 14 year... - [What are your family’s code words? Ours is Carmelo Anthony](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2021/11/02/whats-your-familys-code-words-ours-is-carmelo-anthony.md): My son and I love the Lakers. It's one of our things. We check scores and break-down the games. If you follow them, you know they picked-up Carmelo Anthony... - [Your teens and porn](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2021/10/26/your-teens-and-porn.md): Recently, several parents have raised concerns about their teenage sons and porn. So, I went home, did a Google search and was looking at hardcore porn within... - [Buster Posey Goes to His Room](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2021/10/07/buster-posey-goes-to-his-room.md): Well, the playoffs start tonight. KD (my soon to be 14-year-old) and Captain Mommy (my wife Stephanie) are diehard Giants fans, especially of Buster Posey. I... - [There was a shooting at the ballpark, and I still feel the trauma.](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2021/08/26/there-was-a-shooting-at-the-ballpark-and-im-struggling-with-trauma.md): About a month ago, Captain Mommy (my wife) and KD (our 13-year-old) visited my parents in Washington D.C. It was the trip of a lifetime: all the monuments,... - [Dads, Sons, Father’s Day](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2021/06/18/dads-sons-fathers-day.md): I’ve read all of “those books.” The Grapes of Wrath, etc. in high school. My grandmother’s favorite book was An American Tragedy. I read... - [Your Mental Health Post COVID-19](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2021/05/21/your-mental-health-post-covid-19.md): Depending on who you talk to, you’ll get various opinions about the state of the COVID-19 virus in the U.S. But my sense is that, at least in CA, a majority... - [COVID-19 and in-person school](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2021/05/12/covid-19-and-in-person-school.md): As COVID-19 numbers continue to improve in CA, our son’s K-8 school just opened-up in-person learning, 5 days/week, for the last month of the year. Actually,... - [My 4-20. Epilepsy isn’t Smoking Hot.](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2021/03/25/my-4-20-epilepsy-isnt-smoking-hot.md): Captain Mommy (my wife Stephanie) is on-top of thoughtful details. This week I got a calendar alert she'd added that 3-26 is Epilepsy Awareness Day. I wasn't... - [How Parents Deal with their Kids’ Choices.](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2021/01/27/how-parents-deal-with-their-kids-choices.md): Captain Mommy (my wife) is a donation pro. When KD (my 13-yr-old son) grows out of things or loses interest, they either go to friends with younger kids or... - [Let’s be honest about COVID-19 and the Holidays](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2020/11/24/lets-be-honest-about-covid-19-and-the-holidays.md): You probably aren’t going to see grandma for Thanksgiving. Her health is vulnerable, and you can't risk exposing her. You probably aren’t going to see... - [The Safety Dance, COVID-19 and Family Time](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2020/10/20/the-safety-dance-covid-19-and-family-time.md): This morning, my Lyft driver had on a 90's station. Painfully, I had to listen to Bon Jovi sing about how "you give love a bad name." And it was bad.... - [Parenting: open your lips or bite your tongue](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2020/10/01/parenting-open-your-lips-or-bite-your-tongue.md): When I was 17, I drank beers with my best friend. We got in his car and he wrapped us around a pole. I should have been killed. Instead, I had several seizures... - [Boys, Men, COVID-19, Isolation and Suicide](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2020/08/21/boys-men-covid-19-isolation-suicide.md): I first posted this in February, 2019, prior to the COVID-19 pandemic. I was worried then, but at least they had opportunities to connect at school. Today,... - [Buster Posey Isn’t Playing. He’s Parenting](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2020/07/23/buster-posey-isnt-playing-hes-parenting.md):    I spend most of my free time thinking about COVID-19. I need something else. I hope baseball takes my mind off things, even if for only a little while.... - [COVID-19, our kids’ mental health and graduation](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2020/05/18/covid-kids-mental-health.md): It’s quarantine time! It's time to isolate. Don’t leave your house unless you need groceries! Wear a mask if you do! Stay 6 feet away! It's logical. It's a... - [Navigating Your Mental Health during COVID-19](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2020/04/17/navigating-your-mental-health-during-covid-19.md): I'm thrilled to announce that I'll be live on my good friend Marsha Wietecha's radio show Born To Talk, Friday, at 1 p.m. Pacific (and on recording after.)... - [A Therapist’s Thoughts on Coronavirus, Parenting, & Mental Health](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2020/03/18/a-therapists-thoughts-on-coronavirus-parenting-mental-health.md): As the world wobbles on its axis, I've taken a few minutes to jot down my thoughts on how people can cope emotionally as the Coronavirus visits all corners of... - [Hey parents, kids are cutting again](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2020/02/19/hey-parents-kids-are-cutting-again.md): Since I opened my practice 12 years ago, I've found that the frequency of cutting among teens comes and goes. My experience is that it's on the upswing again.... - [Kobe, my son and role modeling feelings](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2020/01/27/kobe-my-son-and-role-modeling-feelings.md): One of my earliest memories is of lying on my stomach on my parents’ bed and watching Wilt Chamberlain playing for the Lakers on a black and white tv. I... - [Basketball isn’t easy on crutches](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2020/01/20/playing-basketball-on-crutches.md): “Hey dad, are you going to coach our basketball practice today?” Without thinking about it, I told him I would. He gave the immediate, enthusiastic,... - [Thanksgiving: run a race and eat more pie](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/11/26/thanksgiving-run-a-race-and-eat-more-pie.md): When we think about REALLY helping people, we often think on a grand scale. There have been plenty of natural disasters this year, and there have been and/or... - [Impeachment+Thanksgiving=a Potential Food Fight](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/11/14/impeachment-thanksgiving-a-potential-food-fight.md): With Impeachment and Thanksgiving coming at the same time of the year, there is plenty of room for partisan fireworks with your family and friends. But we have... - [7 more therapists share their #1 tip for couples](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/11/01/seven-more-therapists-share-their-1-tip-for-couples.md): In my last blog, 5 therapists share their #1 tip for couples, I shared the secret weapon of some of my favorite couples’ counselors. This is my follow-up,... - [5 therapists share their #1 tip for couples](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/10/23/five-therapists-share-their-1-tip-for-couples.md): The primary intent of my blog has been to advise parents on how best to navigate the world of parenting adolescents. In this entry, I’m deviating from this... - [Have you ever been “that coach?”](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/10/18/have-you-ever-been-that-coach.md): Sometimes paperwork gets buried. When the Department of Justice gets involved, paperwork sometimes gets filed away and buried really deeply. But after 8 weeks... - [The Dodgers blew it, but it’s ok](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/10/11/the-dodgers-blew-it-but-its-ok.md): And the Dodgers lost AGAIN. And I'm sad. Pretty damn sad. But I'm trying to bounce back. My parents moved to D.C. a couple years back, and my mom has become a... - [German soccer, flips and Coach Steve](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/09/23/german-soccer-flips-and-coach-steve.md): Years ago, one of my favorite fifth graders at the school where I counseled was Blaine. He was kind, gentle, helpful, etc. A model student. And three months... - [It’s time for a men’s group-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/09/09/its-time-for-a-mens-group.md) - [Ain’t got time for the summer camp blues](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/07/30/aint-got-time-for-the-summer-camp-blues.md):  We all have our special places. Maybe it’s a restaurant in Paris you go to every-other-year with your closest friends. Maybe it’s the top of the water... - [Hello darkness, my old friend](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/06/05/wait-i-thought-my-ptsd-left-the-building.md): When someone fights in war and sees people killed, nightmares are inevitable. If you're in a bank that's robbed, flashbacks make sense. These extreme reactions... - [These Dads Scored Perfect 10’s](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/05/22/these-dads-scored-perfect-10s.md): Summer is fast approaching and the pool is open! It seems like a good time to share one from the archives. But before getting to it, I want to remind people... - [It’s Time for March Madness](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/03/19/its-time-for-march-madness.md): Before moving forward, I want to let you know I now offer "walk-and-talk" sessions and teletherapy. Whether you want to take a walk around the neighborhood in... - [An extra shot or I shot the sheriff](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/02/23/extra-shot-or-i-shot-sheriff-2.md): I'm not all that particular about most things. But coffee isn't most things. My wife is thoughtful and wanted to bring me a treat from our local spot. But... - [Boys, Men, Isolation, Suicide](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/02/14/boys-men-isolation-suicide.md): Suicide rates are up. According to the Center for Disease Control, it’s at its highest rate in 50 years. It has risen by 33% between 1999-2017. The risk... - [Parenting sure is spicy](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/02/01/parenting-sure-is-spicy.md): We ran out of spices recently, so I stopped at the store on my way home. I went to the bulk section and filled a container with what I thought was cinnamon.... - [Men’s Counseling Group #7](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/01/20/mens-counseling-group-7.md): IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN! - [We men may struggle, but we know our way!](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2019/01/11/we-men-may-struggle-but-well-fijnd-our-way.md): First, an announcement. The next round of my ten weeks men's counseling group begins on Monday, January 28th. It provides an opportunity for seven men to get... - [Not nearly as bad as last year](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2018/11/19/not-nearly-as-bad-as-last-year.md): These are posts I typically share at Christmas, but I’m posting them early. Many of you will be with your family for Thanksgiving, and politics could be a... - [Was it Seven Hours or Seventy?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2018/10/10/hoursriver-city-counseling.md): The following from my column “The Dad Navigates Troubled Waters” was originally seen in the October 3, 2018 issue of the East Sacramento News from Valley... - [KD Makes the Call](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2018/09/11/kd-makes-the-call.md): The following from my column “The Dad Navigates Troubled Waters” was originally seen in the September 6, 2018 issue of the East Sacramento News from Valley... - [Men, Men, Men, Men, Men!](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2018/08/28/men-men-men-men-men.md): Here we go, it's time for: - [The Bubble Team Meets Dr. Doom and Gloom](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2018/08/22/the-bubble-team-meets-dr-doom-and-gloom.md): The following from my column “The Dad Navigates Troubled Waters” was originally seen in the East Sacramento News from Valley Community Newspapers  ... - [Men talk and everybody talks](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2018/08/13/men-talk-everybody-talks.md): I have two announcements: First: Life is busy. With work, school, sports, and all the rest, making it to my office can take way more time than your schedule... - [7 tips for making adult friendships](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2018/05/30/tips-for-making-adult-friendships.md): When we were younger, making friends was easy. The same barriers weren’t there, and the opportunities were plentiful. I’ve known the vast majority of my... - [The sun is out and this father and son are playing baseball](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2018/04/23/the-sun-is-out-and-this-father-and-son-are-playing-ball.md): Last week, I hustled home and made it to KD's baseball game for the last inning or two. Just as I got there he came to the plate to hit. I called out his name... - [If Kevin Love can, you can too.](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2018/03/07/if-kevin-love-can-so-can-youj.md): I work with brilliant kids with 4.5 GPA's and perfect scores on the standardized tests. They have their choices of top schools and turn down Ivy League spots.... - [Hurry up, the time is now for sports and more](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2018/01/25/the-time-is-now-for-sports-and-more.md): Before getting to my post, I want to announce that I'm closing registration for my upcoming men's group on Friday, the 26th.  The group already has strong,... - [Gossip, let’s steer clear](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2018/01/17/gossip-lets-steer-clear-2.md): First, a brief announcement.  For a variety of reasons, the start of my ten-week men's counseling group has been delayed until February 1. I still have two... - [Hey men, let’s be the men we want to be](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2018/01/11/hey-men-lets-be-men-want-be.md): First a reminder: My 10-weeks-men’s counseling group is starting soon. Due to schedule shifts for participants, the new start date will be January 25th, from... - [A man can play hoop and dance as long as he brings home his hat](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2018/01/02/auto-draft-5.md): Since a certain song played at the gym the other day and KD's basketball season is just getting started, I figured it was time for one from the archives. But... - [Men, it’s a perfect time to get together and talk](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2017/12/18/auto-draft-4.md): We've heard countless stories of men doing horrible things to women. This leaves we men questioning our behavior. We're wondering about how to interact with... - [Holiday fun with your family](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2017/11/21/auto-draft-3.md): These are posts I typically share at Christmas, but I'm posting them early.  Many of you will be with your family for Thanksgiving, and politics could be a... - [The Dodgers Lost and I’m Blue](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2017/11/09/auto-draft-2.md): I’ve been a Dodgers fan my entire life, and it’s brutal that they lost the World Series. I didn’t bawl, but I had some moments of tearing-up. It has been... - [Extra pie and a simple reminder](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2017/10/26/extra-pie-simple-reminder.md): When we think about REALLY helping people, we often think on a grand scale. There have been plenty of natural disasters this year, and there have been and/or... - [Parents talk and kids talk](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2017/10/09/parents-talk-kids-talk.md): I’m not sure how many times I written about how KD, my 10-year-old son, and I bang heads. This happens for umpteen reasons and I’ve gotten tired of it. KD... - [Men’s Counseling Group](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2017/09/08/mens-counseling-group.md): Hello Gentlemen: I’m writing to invite you to join me in the next round of my men's counseling group that will begin on Thursday, September 21st. The group... - [BULLYING: more help for parents](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2017/08/27/bullying-more-help-for-parents.md): BULLYING Years ago, I got pulled into a new friend group of dudes. It was the best! I was sort of new to town and was lonely. I loved being included. My awful... - [Even Buster Posey Gets Lonely](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2017/08/21/even-buster-posey-gets-lonely-2.md): It has been an extremely tough year for Giants fans.  But it wasn't long ago that they were on-fire.  One from the archives. A few days ago, KD was reading... - [Is it trauma or just a little drama?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2017/08/16/trauma-or-just-little-drama.md): If you've been following my blog, you know KD's early life was filled with medical drama, and the effects will probably be always with me, even if they fade... - [I bully, you bully, we bully](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2017/08/09/i-bully-bully-bully.md): I reconnected on Facebook this week to two women I knew in junior high. I was in-touch with one of them through early adulthood. I think I was a pretty nice... - [This dad took a plunge and flipped things around](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2017/07/25/dad-took-plunge-flipped-things-around.md): At a party at our community pool, one of my main mates DJ did a flip with a backward cannonball off the high dive. Then Rogai pulled off a flip off the low... - [March Madness Madness](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2017/03/14/march-madness-madness.md): IT'S TIME FOR MARCH MADNESS! In KD’s basketball game the other day he should have passed the ball a bit more. One time down the court he forced a shot and it... - [If the Dam Breaks & the Levees Fail](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2017/02/16/if-dam-breaks-levees-fail.md): Maybe I’m a bit of a dying breed, but I’ll always take the newspaper. There’s something to be said for the ritual of putting the kettle on, shuffling to... - [Black Cats And a Four Leaf Clover](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2017/02/09/black-cats-four-leaf-clover.md): Good Luck, Bad Luck and Just Luck I have good luck. I found a platinum diamond ring at the gas station. We won the grand prize last year at the raffle at my... - [What’s your New Year’s Resolution?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2017/01/16/whats-your-years-resolution.md): I’m not much for New Years Resolutions. I’m into Everyday Resolutions. However, the other night I had a dream that led me to make a resolution. In it,... - [More Tips for Holiday Survival with Family](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/12/12/more-tips-for-holiday-survival-family.md): Holiday Family Dynamics It seems like the intense feelings people had immediately after the election have simmered down a little.  But with the inauguration... - [Tips for Holiday Survival with Family](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/11/22/tips-for-holiday-survival-family.md): Below is a piece I often share at Christmas time.  This year I'm posting it early, as many of you will be with your family for Thanksgiving, and the... - [Why do You Procrastinate?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/11/03/why-do-procrastinate.md): Reasons Kids Procrastinate In my last post, I shared a bit about how procrastination looks for me.  In today's post, I want to dig into the "whys" I... - [Breaking the Procrastination Cycle](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/10/31/breaking-procrastination-cycle.md): Negative Self-Talk and Procrastination Every once in a while I have one of those 3:30 a.m. or so wake-ups when, after freshening-up in the facilities, I... - [4 Tips for Talking Things Out](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/10/27/tips-for-talking-things-out.md): When Things Take a Wrong Turn: Talking Things Out I spent last Saturday night at one of my best friend’s house. Late in the evening, as we chatted rather... - [Left Handers vs Right Handers](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/10/18/left-handers-vs-right-handers.md): Just as I was heading out the door this morning, my wife asked me to wait, so I could sign something. I could have gotten all crabby, but instead just sat... - [Even Buster Posey Gets Lonely – Parenting Lesson](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/10/06/even-buster-posey-gets-lonely-parenting-lesson.md): Parenting Challenges A few days ago, KD was reading the paper and updating me, rapid-fire, on Buster Posey’s stats. I was also reading the paper and asked... - [Clayton Kershaw Throws Heat : Parenting Challenges](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/09/26/clayton-kershaw-throws-heat-parenting-challenges.md): Ok, the Dodgers have clinched their division.  But this Dodger fan didn't do quite as well with his parenting.  One from the archives.... - [Tips for tough talks with your teen](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/09/22/tips-for-tough-talks-your-teen.md): First, a reminder. My 10-week men's counseling group began this past Monday. In the last week, two men realized that their professional conflicts make it... - [Catch and release wild house flies](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/09/15/catch-release-wild-house-flies.md): Just a reminder:  My men's counseling group begins this coming Monday, September 19th.  It runs from 715-830 at my Midtown Sacramento office.  I have one... - [Mutiny on the classroom rug](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/09/12/mutiny-on-classroom-rug.md): First, a reminder.  The start date of my 10-week men's counseling group was moved back to next Monday, September 19th.  The group is from 715-830.  I have... - [Monkey out of water](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/09/08/monkey-out-of-water.md): First, I want to remind you about my upcoming men's group.  It's limited to seven men, and I have two spots left.  If you want more specific information,... - [29 monkeys in the pool](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/09/05/monkeys-pool.md): I have a busy mind. It never stops. Call it anxiety. Call it AD/HD. Call it what you will. But I’m just busy. Knowing about my struggles, a couple of... - [Men at work, men without hats, & men’s counseling group](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/08/25/men-at-work-men-without-hats-mens-counseling-group.md): Hello Gentlemen: I’m writing to invite you to join me in the next round of my counseling group for men that will begin on Monday, September 19th. The group... - [He does, she does, everyone PROCRASTINATES!!!](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/08/23/he-does-she-does-everyone-procrastinates.md): I'm doing it as I write.  I should be doing things that are more important than this.  Yet, here I am writing my blog.  I believe I'm procrastinating.  I... - [NO REGRETS!!!](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/08/16/no-regrets.md): Open your mind's eye for a second and flash to a bunch of dudes.  Voices rising, they pound their chests and yell, "No Regrets!!!"  You try to ignore them,... - [Living in LA with my best old friend Dave](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/08/10/living-la-my-best-old-friend-dave.md): I left Los Angeles in 1998 and moved to Berkeley. I left my whole life behind: parents, family, friends, career, etc. You know what they say about moving for... - [Thank god! We lost it in troubled waters-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/07/20/thank-god-lost-troubled-watersriver-city-counseling.md): When I got my first cell phone, my wife complained because I wouldn’t pick up or return calls. It wasn't anything personal; most of the time I accidentally... - [Here we go again and again and again](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/07/13/here-go-again-again-again.md): My parents lived close to Watts during the riots of 1965. Not long after my pregnant mother was walked home from the grocery store by a member of the Harlem... - [I wish I was homeward bound](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/06/15/i-wish-i-was-homeward-bound.md): As you read this, I’m sitting down on my chair, hanging out with my son, drinking my coffee, and heading to work. I’m going to see clients, do paperwork,... - [An extra shot or I shot the sheriff](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/06/07/extra-shot-or-i-shot-sheriff.md): You don’t need to go any further than your local coffee shop. The guy in-line with dreadlocks and smelling of patchouli is a total “stoner.” The barista... - [Really! Not this again](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/05/18/really-not-again.md): I want to thank those of you who have subscribed to my blog recently. To catch-you-up, many of my blogs revolve around the highs and lows, joys and challenges... - [Should I also trim your beard?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/04/14/should-i-trim-your-beard.md): This is an update to recent post “Bro Hugs” which talks about my trips to my barbershops. I’ve included it below… I got a haircut yesterday by my... - [Handball with guilt and a lemon twist](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/04/08/handball-guilt-lemon-twist.md): I don’t take many holidays off. I’m our sole earner (ok 99.5%) and people come to therapy on holidays. So it was a HUGE deal that I took off President’s... - [Super glue or velcro, your choice](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/03/07/super-glue-or-velcro-your-choice.md): In KD’s basketball game the other day he should have passed the ball a bit more. One time down the court he forced a shot and it was an air ball. I was in... - [The gates are locked on Sunday](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/02/12/gates-locked-on-sunday.md): KD is exhausted. He has circles under his eyes and a sore throat and cough. He's crabby and isn’t listening. He doesn’t want to eat. It’s a struggle to... - [Hurry up, the odds are best on seven](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2016/01/12/hurry-up-odds-best-on-seven.md): First, something fun.  On Monday night I was interviewed on the local CBS station about the impacts that winning the lottery could have on someone.  I'd love... - [Crap, Grandma wore her hearing aid!](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/12/21/crap-grandma-wore-her-hearing-aid.md): Christmas is this Friday.  Many of you will spend time with your family, including grandma and grandpa.  Although you're tempted to "play down" and sit at... - [It’s not nearly as bad as last year](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/12/17/its-not-nearly-as-bad-as-last-year.md): The holidays are back and this therapist is looking forward to a couple of days off.  Here's one from the files.  Until next time...... - [Bro Hugs-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/12/15/bro-hugsriver-city-counseling.md): First, I want to thank all of you who recently subscribed to my blog.  As quirky as this post might seem at first blush, I'm looking at themes that I often... - [Just let KD and his mates have fun!](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/12/02/just-let-kd-his-mates-have-fun.md): If you’ve been following what I write, you know I have really mixed feelings about KD and sports. He loves them and I don’t want to stifle him. At the same... - [Trauma here, there, and everywhere](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/11/16/trauma-here-there-everywhere.md): In our lives, we experience little and big traumas.  Some impact our lives without disabling us; others are life changing.  The impacts of last week's... - [And you thought I was just obnoxious](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/11/10/thought-i-was-just-obnoxious.md): A few years ago I worked with a 9th grade boy who, quite frankly, pushed my buttons. He was rude and offensive, and I really didn’t know if I could help him.... - [Clayton Kershaw Throws Heat](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/10/15/clayton-kershaw-throws-heat.md): If you’ve been following my blog, you know KD and I have been banging heads these days.  Not all the time, but enough that it's wearing on me. ... - [Kumbaya for Three](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/09/11/kumbaya-for-three.md): The messages start the moment you’re born: you’re cute, you’re nice, you’re good-natured because you smile all the time, you have pretty eyes, and you... - [Did you top off the tank?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/09/07/did-off-tank.md): Last weekend, it happened:  KD joined what I thought was another relatively "low-key" soccer league, which I thought would focus much more on having fun and... - [When 23 is the new 22](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/09/01/when.md): I’ve recently realized that many of the young men I see are challenged by similar issues: having adult relationships with their parents and siblings,... - [Even Buster Posey gets lonely](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/08/11/even-buster-posey-gets-lonely.md): Yesterday’s blog was a bit “Hallmarky,” right? Kind of sweet, right? A few of you have commented on what a great dad I am. If you only knew… A few days... - [Holes already? I just bought them.](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/08/11/holes-already-i-just-bought-them.md): As many of you know, my son KD, age 7, loves to follow and play sports 24-7. It's summer, so right now he lives and breathes baseball. He’s either outside... - [Every guy deserves a breather-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/07/28/every-guy-deserves-breatherriver-city-counseling.md): First, an update: due to vacation schedules for group members, the start date for my next ten week, men’s counseling group has been moved back two weeks,... - [He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/07/14/he-aint-heavy-hes-my-brotherriver-city-counseling.md): First, I want to apologize for the email you received yesterday. It was a technical glitch on my end. Let’s hope this one reaches you safely and in its... - [There’s no need for the neutral corner](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/07/02/theres-no-need-for-neutral-corner.md): Hello Gentlemen and those who love them: I’m writing to invite you to join me in the next round of my counseling group for men that will begin on Thursday,... - [Coffee or a beer? It’s on me.](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/06/29/coffee-or-beer-its-on-me.md): On Mother’s Day, I saw a casual friend in church. Her son died a couple of years ago, and I didn’t know what to say. A few days later, a closer friend told... - [I may sob, but I really don’t care!](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/06/20/i-may-sob-but-i-really-dont-care.md): The following is a two-part series on how families can prepare when their oldest child leaves for college.  The first is help for parents to adjust and... - [Heads-up, 7-up, or a table for one?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/06/10/headsup-up-or-table-for-one.md): Life is filled with trauma.  Every day, hard stuff happens, and we struggle to cope. I initially posted this right after my son started kindergarten.  Today,... - [Vin Scully meets Farmer John](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/06/03/vin-scully-meets-farmer-john.md): If you know me or follow my blog, you know that KD loves to play sports, from the moment he wakes up to the moment he tumbles into bed. When we force him to... - [Checkmate-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/05/29/checkmateriver-city-counseling.md): In my fifteen years teaching and counseling in elementary schools, I interacted with a couple thousand parents, with all sorts of positive and negative... - [Crap! Have you seen gas prices?-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/05/21/crap-have-seen-gas-pricesriver-city-counseling.md): After 27 years of teaching and counseling kids, I’ve worked with I’m not sure how many “elite” athletes. I’ve memorized their stories about travel... - [Stop! Close the windows and whisper!-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/05/13/stop-close-windows-whisperriver-city-counseling.md): Think about it, we adults all have secrets.  Maybe we were abused as kids or our parents were alcoholics.  Maybe we like to dabble in illegal drugs or... - [Darth Vader, come on down!-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/05/04/darth-vader-come-on-downriver-city-counseling.md): I am a high-end people person and a professional listener. And sometimes I don't want to be either. Sometimes I just want to be left alone. The gym is one of... - [The trash goes out Wednesday night](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/04/30/trash-goes-out-wednesday-night.md): You don’t need to go any further than your local coffee shop. The guy in-line with dreadlocks and smelling of patchouli is a “stoner.” The barista with... - [I can’t stand my sister and she hates me-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/04/21/i-cant-stand-my-sister-she-hates-meriver-city-counseling.md): Not long ago, I got a call from the parents of two adolescent girls.  They were concerned because their younger daughter’s grades had slipped significantly... - [And then there were seven](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/04/14/then-there-were-seven.md): Hello Gentlemen: I’m writing to invite you to join me in a counseling group for men that will begin on Thursday, May 9th. The group will meet from 715-830... - [What the hell is wrong with me?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/03/26/hell-wrong-me.md): Some of you have had some of the worst traumas possible happen to you. Maybe you were kidnapped, raped, held hostage by terrorists, accidentally killed your... - [JFK, 9-11, or Bacon and Butter](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/03/19/jfk-or-bacon-butter.md): Depending on how old we are, we all have those “where were we” moments: the stock market crash of 1929, attack on Pearl Harbor, dropping of the atomic... - [Crap, he forgot my extra whip!-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/02/17/crap-he-forgot-my-extra-whipriver-city-counseling.md): You know those guys: 615 p.m. and they march, double-time through the doors of the gym with their top buttons unbuttoned, ties loosened, and gym bags slung... - [Mom, help!!! My cap and gown don’t fit](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/02/05/mom-help-my-cap-gown-dont-fit.md): Teens do great stuff to help themselves and the world: volunteer work, student government, sports, etc.  It's fabulous, but I get anxious hearing about it and... - [Don’t worry, I’ll eat leftovers-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2015/01/23/dont-worry-ill-eat-leftoversriver-city-counseling.md): Hello Gentlemen: I’m writing to invite you to join me in a counseling group for men that will begin on Thursday, February 12. The group will meet from... - [Catch the midnight train and don’t leave a note-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/12/10/catch-midnight-train-dont-leave-noteriver-city-counseling.md): I'm in the middle of some challenging transitions.  Looking back through my posts I came upon this and am finding it helpful.  Thought I'd share again.... - [Johnny, where did you hide grandma’s fruitcake?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/12/01/johnny-where-did-hide-grandmas-fruitcake.md): First, a disclaimer: this comes from my perspective, one who celebrates Christmas. I realized that not all of my readers celebrate this holiday. Thus, apply it... - [7 more therapists’ #1 tip for couples-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/11/24/more-therapists-tip-for-couplesriver-city-counseling-2.md): In a recent blog, Five Therapists’ #1 Tip for Couples, I shared the secret weapon of some of my favorite couples’ counselors. This is my follow-up, which... - [Thank god we can finally donate Sorry-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/11/12/thank-god-can-finally-donate-sorryriver-city-counseling.md): I published this a few months ago.  In light of the recent suicide at a local high school, I think it's worth a reread for parents. A few years ago I worked... - [Suicide shouldn’t be a teen’s option-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/11/05/suicide-shouldnt-be-teens-optionriver-city-counseling.md): The following is an article written by Kelly Richardson, a Sacramento Marriage and Family Therapist, who specializes in working with teens.  It appeared in... - [Teen suicide, help for parents to understand-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/11/04/teen-suicide-help-for-parents-understandriver-city-counseling.md): As some of you know, a student at a local high school committed suicide last night.  After parents get over the initial shock, a common response is to worry... - [5 therapists’ #1 tip for couples-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/10/30/therapists-tip-for-couplesriver-city-counseling.md): The primary intent of my blog has been to advise parents on how best to navigate the world of parenting adolescents. In this entry, I’m deviating from this... - [You got that from trimming the roses?-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/09/30/got-that-from-trimming-rosesriver-city-counseling.md): First, I want to thank all of you for reading my blog posts regularly and for sharing them with people you know.  I hope you're finding them helpful. My... - [Kumbaya for three-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/09/15/kumbaya-for-threeriver-city-counseling.md): The messages start the moment you’re born: you’re cute, you’re nice, you’re good-natured because you smile all the time, you have pretty eyes, and you... - [My bratty kid might be a depressed? Are you kidding me?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/08/28/my-bratty-kid-might-be-depressed-kidding-me.md): A few years ago I worked with a 9th grade boy who, quite frankly, pushed my buttons. He was rude and offensive, and I really didn’t know if I could help him.... - [Thank god, she took her Grateful Dead!-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/08/07/thank-god-she-took-her-grateful-deadriver-city-counseling.md): Before sharing an article I wrote a few years ago, I want to remind readers of the group for men that I'm starting on August 21st (a week later than the... - [It’s certainly not your business!-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/07/31/its-certainly-not-your-businessriver-city-counseling.md): First, I want you to know that I'll be leading a men's therapy group, starting August 14th. I and seven men will meet at my office for 10 consecutive... - [Bon voyage; see you in a week or so-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/07/25/bon-voyage-see-week-or-soriver-city-counseling.md): One of the most intense times families face is when children leave home for college. The following is an article I wrote a couple of years ago that provides... - [Seriously, Men Don’t Cry-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/07/18/seriously-men-dont-cryriver-city-counseling.md): Hello Gentlemen (and those who love them): I’m writing to invite you to join me in a counseling group for men that will begin on Thursday, August 14th. The... - [That’s a strange question to ask-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/07/09/thats-strange-question-askriver-city-counseling.md): The other day KD asked me what I got for Christmas when I was 11.  What the heck!  Where did that question come from?  Rather than spending too much time... - [The love is gone. Where did it go?-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/04/18/love-gone-where-did-goriver-city-counseling.md): We all have (unrealistic) visions of what marriage is like and how easy it is to have a happy and healthy relationship that lasts a lifetime.  I guess some... - [Manteca or bust-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/04/04/manteca-or-bustriver-city-counseling.md): After 26 years of teaching and counseling kids, I’ve worked with I’m not sure how many “elite” athletes. I’ve memorized their stories about travel... - [Sit down, be quiet, and look at me-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/02/17/sit-down-be-quiet-look-at-meriver-city-counseling.md): Even had a serious conversation and felt like your teenager was staring right through you and had tuned-you-out?  Probably 100% of parents of teenagers feel... - [One day diapers and the next day Duke-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/02/07/one-day-diapers-next-day-dukeriver-city-counseling.md): This is the link to my recent appearance on College Week Live, an on-line college fair, in which I look at the impact that a child leaving for college can have... - [JFK, 9-11, or bacon and butter-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2014/01/23/jfk-or-bacon-butterriver-city-counseling.md): Depending on how old we are, we all have those “where were we” moments: the stock market crash of 1929, attack on Pearl Harbor, dropping of the atomic... - [Holiday angst galore-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/12/12/holiday-angst-galoreriver-city-counseling.md): First, a disclaimer: this comes from my perspective, one who celebrates Christmas. I realized that not all of my readers celebrate this holiday. Thus, apply it... - [When Greyhound isn’t the best solution-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/11/20/when-greyhound-isnt-best-solutionriver-city-counseling.md): For those of you who know me or follow what I write, you know I’m all about trying to take care of myself and stay balanced. I work out, practice yoga,... - [My webinar on College Week Live-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/11/04/my-webinar-on-college-week-liveriver-city-counseling.md): For those of you who missed it, this is the link from my webinar last week on College Week Live, in which I advise parents on coping with the pressure and... - [7 more therapists’ #1 tip for couples-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/10/29/more-therapists-tip-for-couplesriver-city-counseling.md): In my last blog, Five Therapists' #1 Tip for Couples, I shared the secret weapon of some of my favorite couples’ counselors. This is my follow-up, which... - [Join me @ free webinar on college prep-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/10/21/join-me-free-webinar-on-college-prepriver-city-counseling.md): This coming Thursday, October 24, I'm doing my first, live Webcast on College Week Live. They're calling it "All Access Day" and it's for parents of students... - [Five therapists’ #1 tip for couples-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/10/04/five-therapists-tip-for-couplesriver-city-counseling-2.md): The primary intent of my blog has been to advise parents on how best to navigate the world of parenting adolescents. In this entry, I’m deviating from this... - [If yelling isn’t working, what’s next?-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/09/20/if-yelling-isnt-working-whats-nextriver-city-counseling.md): In a recent blog post (“192 hours until kindergarten starts”), I wrote about how much I was looking forward to my son, KD, beginning kindergarten. I... - [Your kids and September 11th-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/09/10/your-kids-september-thriver-city-counseling.md): This is a post I wrote two years ago, on the 10th anniversary of 9-11.  I reread it today, and I think much of what I wrote is still pertinent.  I've... - [Is it trauma or just a little drama?-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/09/02/trauma-or-just-little-dramariver-city-counseling.md): In my last blog ("192 hours until kindergarten starts"), I talked about the beginning of kindergarten for my son, KD. As expected, I was a both a little sad... - [192 hours until kindergarten starts-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/08/17/hours-until-kindergarten-startsriver-city-counseling.md): Not that I’m counting, but there are exactly 192 hours until kindergarten starts. A few minutes after is the “coffee for the parents of new students.”... - [Don’t forget to take your posters, too-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/08/14/dont-forget-take-your-posters-tooriver-city-counseling.md): You & Your Teen Helping younger teens to cope when siblings leave for college By STEVE DEBENEDETTI-EMANUEL Land Park News columnist... - [Will it hurt when they slam the door?-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/08/05/will-hurt-when-they-slam-doorriver-city-counseling.md): One of the most intense times families face is when children leave home for college. The following is an article I wrote a couple of years ago that provides... - [Taking fathering to the next level-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/07/31/taking-fathering-next-levelriver-city-counseling.md): In my last post (“The nuggets fathers bring to parenting”), I focused on the beauty and power men can bring to parenting. Briefly, just because fathers... - [The nuggets fathers bring to parenting-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/06/07/nuggets-fathers-bring-parentingriver-city-counseling.md): When my son was little, his heath, work schedules and finances dictated our parenting schedule.   Although I never thought of myself as an at-home dad, the... - [What sleep deprivation can do to teens-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/05/17/sleep-deprivation-can-do-teensriver-city-counseling.md): As the semester is nearing the end, a number of the teens I work with are talking about being exhausted.  It makes sense: final projects are piling-up and... - [Mother’s Day thoughts with a twist-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/05/11/mothers-day-thoughts-twistriver-city-counseling.md): On Mother's Day weekend, I want to send my thanks and grateful feelings to all mothers. I'm also mindful of others who don't fit into the traditional roles:... - [Jack’s parents are out of town!-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/04/30/jacks-parents-out-of-townriver-city-counseling.md): There was a time in high school that we didn’t have a typewriter (yes, I'm that old!) at home.  Conveniently, one of my best friends did, and... - [What’s your child’s secret?-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/04/18/whats-your-childs-secretriver-city-counseling.md): Think about it, we adults all have secrets.  Maybe we were abused as kids or our parents were alcoholics.  Maybe we like to dabble in illegal drugs or... - [Teens & chores: are privileges bribes?-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/03/26/teens-chores-privileges-bribesriver-city-counseling.md): A common question I hear from parents is:  should I pay and/or give my child special privileges for doing chores and/or getting good grades? When it comes to... - [A teen’s bedroom: messes, media, & more-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/03/07/teens-bedroom-messes-media-moreriver-city-counseling.md): In the first two entries in my series on the teen’s bedroom, I advised parents on how to balance their teen’s need for alone time in their room with the... - [A teen’s bedroom: door locks and more-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/02/20/teens-bedroom-door-locks-moreriver-city-counseling.md): In my last entry, “Get out of my room,” I shared my thoughts on teens’ need for time alone in their rooms.  I encouraged parents to support this, while... - [Get out of my room!-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/02/01/get-out-of-my-roomriver-city-counseling.md): The age varies, but at some point almost all parents hear a resounding “get out of my room” from their kids.  Cuddly children who like to hang out and... - [John, is that a cut on your wrist?-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/01/10/john-that-cut-on-your-wristriver-city-counseling.md): Although cutting is a concern on an ongoing basis, there are times when it seems more prevalent among teens.  Since I've been hearing that it's on the... - [Hey mom, wake-up, I need your help](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2013/01/03/hey-mom-wakeup-i-need-your-help.md): Recently my five-year-old pulled me through the door to the gym with extra enthusiasm, anticipating our ritual of climbing the rock wall. While waiting our... - [Talking to your kids about Sandy Hook](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/12/15/talking-your-kids-about-sandy-hook.md): A colleague, Sue Goetz, LCSW, shared the following with me: After the horrific events at Sandy Hook Elementary School, we cling to our kids and want to say... - [Is Christmas Really Merry?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/12/03/christmas-really-merry.md): Turn on the TV these days and you can’t miss the ads for See’s Candy, Hallmark Cards and unending Christmas specials. As much as the media wants us to... - [Seriously Dad, You Once Did What?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/10/15/seriously-dad-once-did.md): The following is an article I wrote a couple of years ago. It discusses the pros and cons of parents revealing details from their pasts that they might not... - [It’s Time to Prepare for the Holidays](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/10/08/its-time-prepare-for-holidays.md): Normally this space is reserved for advice for parents with teens; this week will be different. I’m speaking to adults who plan to spend the holidays with... - [Suicide Shouldn’t Be a Teen’s Answer-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/08/20/suicide-shouldnt-be-teens-answerriver-city-counseling.md): The following is an article written by Kelly Richardson, a Sacramento Marriage and Family Therapist, who specializes in working with teens.  It appeared in... - [Don’t Ask, I’ll Be Home When I’m Home-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/08/16/dont-ask-ill-be-home-when-im-homeriver-city-counseling.md): This is the third of three articles I wrote on transitions parents and their children face when college begins. They were originally published in August and... - [Awesome, Your Room is Mine!-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/08/06/awesome-your-room-mineriver-city-counseling.md): You & Your Teen Helping younger teens to cope when siblings leave for college By STEVE DEBENEDETTI-EMANUEL Land Park News columnist... - [Bon Voyage, See You Next Weekend-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/07/31/bon-voyage-see-next-weekendriver-city-counseling.md): One of the most intense times families face is when children leave home for college. The following is an article I wrote a couple of years ago that provides... - [Tips for Tough Talks with your Teens-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/07/18/tips-for-tough-talks-your-teensriver-city-counseling.md): In my last post, I shared an article that discussed how teens arguing with their parents could help them resist drug use later in adolescence.  It's worth... - [Hey Son, Have Time for a Fight?-River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/07/13/hey-son-have-time-for-fightriver-city-counseling.md): As much as we cringe at the thought of how argumentative kids can get as they enter their teenage years, a recent University of Virginia study shows that these... - [Wow, Kids Sure Aren’t Cheap](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/06/21/wow-kids-sure-arent-cheap.md): In two recent blog entries, “Managing Sibling Rivalries” and “Helping Teens Build Better Relationships, “ I provided tips for helping teens build... - [Hey Mom, Just Text Me](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/06/05/hey-mom-just-text-me.md): I recently was featured on the local NBC station talking about kids and cellphones.  After sharing the link with friends and colleagues and at a parenting... - [Hey Dad, Please Grab Me a Beer](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/05/11/hey-dad-please-grab-me-beer.md): Even though your kids are probably not returning home from college for a few weeks, it’s time to start planning for their arrival. After 9 months of making... - [Divorce: Focusing on your Kids](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/03/07/divorce-focusing-on-your-kids.md): This is an article I wrote in 2011. It gives some suggestions for how divorced parents need to treat each other, so as to minimize the effects on their teens.... - [Help Teens Build Better Relationships](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/02/20/help-teens-build-better-relationships.md): In my last post, I shared an article I wrote about my client “Audrey” and her struggles with her sister “Nancy”. Audrey felt that Nancy was her... - [Managing Sibling Rivalries](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/01/30/managing-sibling-rivalries.md): Sibling rivalries are alive and well long after our kids graduate from pull-ups. This is an article I published a while ago which discusses ways to help our... - [Don’t Harm my Child’s Self-Esteem](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/01/16/dont-harm-my-childs-selfesteem.md): The following is an article that originally ran in the Washington Post a few days ago and then in the Sacramento Bee today. It's an interesting description of... - [Consequences that Work](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2012/01/08/consequences-that-work.md): Sometimes parents (this one included) find themselves giving consequences to their kids in inconsistent ways. I've found that developing a framework for giving... - [When Christmas Isn’t Merry](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/12/16/when-christmas-isnt-merry.md): Turn on the TV these days and you can’t miss the ads for See’s Candy, Hallmark Cards and unending Christmas specials. As much as the media wants us to... - [Is Cheating Acceptable?-Fox Interview: River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/12/10/cheating-acceptablefox-interview-river-city-counseling.md): On Friday, December 9th, I was interviewed on Fox News' Morning Show, in Sacramento. I discussed the effects of infidelity by public figures on our personal... - [Christmas with your Spouse’s Family](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/12/02/christmas-your-spouses-family.md): In this entry I talk about your “spouse.”  Please know that I’m using this word out of convenience, and you can insert your boyfriend/girlfriend,... - [Parents Can Balance Work and Family](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/11/21/parents-can-balance-work-family.md): A few weeks ago I saw Moneyball.  Although the primary focus of the movie is on baseball and statistical analysis, a secondary plot focuses on Billy Beane’s... - [You Can Survive the Holidays with Your Family.](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/11/07/can-survive-holidays-your-family.md): Normally this space is reserved for advice for parents with teens; this week will be different. I’m speaking to adults who plan to spend the holidays with... - [Parents Need to Apologize, too](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/10/31/parents-need-apologize-too.md): Not long ago, my 4-year-old and his best friend “Tom” were racing each other to get to a bench in the park.  My son was leading by a step, but Tom gave... - [Coping with Cutting Steve DeBenedetti-Emanuel](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/10/07/coping-cutting-steve-debenedettiemanuel.md): First, I want to thank all of you for reading my blog posts regularly and for sharing them with people you know.  I hope you're finding them helpful. This... - [Are your kids getting off-track academically?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/09/29/your-kids-getting-offtrack-academically.md): Did you start the school year playing an active role in helping your kids get off to a good academic start?  If so, you probably encouraged your children to... - [Why do my kids hate each other?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/09/13/why-do-my-kids-hate-each-other.md): Ok, they probably don't hate each other as much as they struggle with sibling rivalries.  I wrote this article a while back, and it seems like a good time to... - [Your kids and September 11th. Steve DeBenedetti-Emanuel, LMFT](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/09/09/your-kids-september-th-steve-debenedettiemanuel-lmft.md): There are those events that people remember where they were when they heard the news: Pearl Harbor, Kennedy assassination, September 11th. Some of your kids... - [Bullying: Sandbox through Senior Year.](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/08/26/bullying-sandbox-through-senior-year.md): When counseling at elementary and middle schools, kids would talk all the time about being bullied.  I’d advise them to talk to the bully and tell him/her... - [Making Successful Transitions as your Child Leaves for College.](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/08/19/making-successful-transitions-as-your-child-leaves-for-college.md): Until recently, I was a columnist for Valley Community Newspapers.  The article below ran before the beginning of last school year. You & Your Teen Making... - [Powerful Parenting Tips for Little Ones…](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/08/18/powerful-parenting-tips-for-little-ones.md): I've done quite a bit of parenting training.  Of all, I'm most impressed by Parent Project (www.parentproject.com), which is a program for parents of... - [A helpful column for teens and parents](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/08/16/helpful-column-for-teens-parents.md): Kelly Richardson is a Marriage and Family Therapist who works locally (in Sacramento, for those of you out-of-town).  She and I have emailed a bit, and I've... - [It’s midnight, are you sure you know where your teen is?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/08/16/its-midnight-sure-know-where-your-teen.md): There was a time in high school that we didn’t have a typewriter at home.  Conveniently, my best friend did, and coincidentally, the nights I had homework... - [Homework: How much should parents help?](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/08/12/homework-how-much-should-parents-help.md): As the school year begins, I'm reflecting on the role parents play in their student's success.  What I've found from both counseling and teaching elementary... - [Trauma Recovery Enhanced by Good Parenting](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2011/08/11/trauma-recovery-enhanced-by-good-parenting.md): I was reflecting recently on some of the young people with whom I’ve worked and the challenges they’ve faced.  Just a few of the more difficult issues are... ## Pages - [Therapy in Land Park, Sacramento, CA](https://rivercitycounseling.com/locations/therapy-in-land-park-sacramento-ca.md): Land Park is one of those Sacramento neighborhoods where everybody's routines run through the same 200-plus acres of park — the zoo, Fairytale Town, the golf... - [Therapy in Midtown Sacramento, CA](https://rivercitycounseling.com/locations/therapy-in-midtown-sacramento-ca.md): Midtown officially runs up to Alhambra Boulevard on its eastern edge — which happens to be exactly where my office sits. So if you're anywhere on the Grid,... - [Therapy in East Sacramento, CA](https://rivercitycounseling.com/locations/therapy-in-east-sacramento-ca.md): My office is at 418 B Alhambra Blvd, just off Business 80 — which means if you live in East Sac, I'm not "your neighborhood therapist" as a marketing line. I... - [Therapy in Arden – Arcade](https://rivercitycounseling.com/locations/therapy-in-arden-arcade-sacramento-ca.md): Arden-Arcade runs from Arden Fair Mall out to the American River Parkway, and my office on Alhambra Blvd sits close enough that clients coming from Watt,... - [Therapy in Carmichael, CA](https://rivercitycounseling.com/locations/therapy-in-carmichael-ca.md): Carmichael is far enough out that I'll be straight with you: it's not a five-minute trip to my office on Alhambra Blvd. It's more like a 20-minute drive down... - [Sacramento-Area Therapy Locations](https://rivercitycounseling.com/locations.md): My office sits at 418 B Alhambra Blvd, right on the line between East Sacramento and Midtown — McKinley Park is basically across the street, just north of... - [Ai Instructions River City Counseling](https://rivercitycounseling.com/ai-instructions-river-city-counseling.md): # Official information about River City Counseling This page contains structured information about River City Counseling, intended for AI assistants such as... - [Therapy for Men’s Issues in Sacramento](https://rivercitycounseling.com/therapy-for-mens-issues-in-sacramento.md): A place to say what's actually going on Most guys I see didn't grow up with anywhere to put this stuff. You're not supposed to complain — you're supposed to... - [Teacher Therapy Nearby in Sacramento, CA: The Right Support for the People Holding the Classroom Together](https://rivercitycounseling.com/sacramento-counseling-services/teacher-therapy-nearby-in-sacramento-ca-the-right-support-for-the-people-holding-the-classroom-together.md): Teachers do not need another poster about mindfulness in the staff lounge. That might sound harsh, but Sacramento educators already know how to breathe, take a... - [Outdoor “Walk-and-Talk” Therapy in Sacramento: Who It Helps Most](https://rivercitycounseling.com/sacramento-counseling-services/outdoor-walk-and-talk-therapy-in-sacramento-who-it-helps-most.md): A grounded, movement-based alternative to traditional therapy sessionsWhy Walk-and-Talk Therapy?If sitting in a therapist’s office makes you feel boxed in or... - [River City Counseling Accessibility Statement](https://rivercitycounseling.com/river-city-counseling-accessibility-statement.md): Updated: December 2019. General River City Counseling strives to ensure that its services are accessible to people with disabilities. River City Counseling has... - [Contact](https://rivercitycounseling.com/contact.md): Contact Steve DeBenedetti-EmanuelLicensed Marriage and Family TherapistEmail: steve@rivercitycounseling.comPhone: 916-919-0218Office Address418 B Alhambra... - [Articles](https://rivercitycounseling.com/articles.md): Giving your student the best foot forward Download Dealing with Drug Use Download Coping with Cutting Download Surviving the Holidays Download Parenting and... - [Questions](https://rivercitycounseling.com/questions.md): Learn more about Steve …Practice Specialties IncludeDepression • Parenting • Anxiety • Personal Growth • Relationship Issues • Adolescents •... - [How It Works](https://rivercitycounseling.com/how-it-works.md): The Counseling ProcessI often work with people who have never seen a therapist and have all sorts of thoughts about what it will be like. Maybe something you... - [Sacramento Counseling Services](https://rivercitycounseling.com/sacramento-counseling-services.md): Teen Counseling A year ago, high school was back in-session, but with major modifications: masks, tests, etc. This year was supposed to be more “normal.”... - [Testimonials](https://rivercitycounseling.com/testimonials.md): “He is the go-to guy for struggling teenagers in the Sacramento Valley.” — Ken Siegmann, LMFT  “His outstanding listening skills, combined... - [Steve’s Bio](https://rivercitycounseling.com/get-to-know-steve-debenedetti-emanuel.md): Steve DeBenedetti-Emanuel, LMFT  In my teens and early 20s, I knew that I wanted to work with people, but I wasn’t sure how it would look. After... - [Blog](https://rivercitycounseling.com/blog/) - [Home](https://rivercitycounseling.com/river-city-counseling.md): RIVER CITY COUNSELING, THERAPIST & COUNSELOR IN SACRAMENTO, CA Do any of these issues sound familiar? I feel anxious and have for years. I've done a good... - [Privacy Policy](https://rivercitycounseling.com/privacy-policy.md): For all purposes of this privacy policy: “Company” is defined as “River City Counseling” “This website” is defined as...