---
title: "Self-esteem. Let’s build each other up"
description: "In my last post, College, Parents, Same as it Ever Was , I shared an article I wrote for a local paper 15 years ago. It reflected on the summer before your adult child goes to college and what changes..."
url: https://rivercitycounseling.com/2026/07/31/self-esteem-lets-build-each-other-up/
date: 2026-07-31
modified: 2026-07-31
author: "rccadmin"
categories: ["Uncategorized"]
type: post
lang: en
---

# Self-esteem. Let’s build each other up

In my last post, [College, Parents, Same as it Ever Was](https://rivercitycounseling.com/2026/07/22/college-parents-same-as-it-ever-way/), I shared an article I wrote for a local paper 15 years ago. It reflected on the summer before your adult child goes to college and what changes and preparation a family should do. Interestingly, the article holds-up well. My son was three when I wrote it. Now he’s 18, and I see myself a lot in it.

### ***Self-esteem, my journey***

Last Monday, I woke up around 2 a.m. deep in thought. Kevin is off to college in late August, and I reflected on how impressed I am with his development and high self-esteem. He has been through health challenges and deaths of my sister and father. And, of course, his mother’s Alzheimer’s. His resiliency has helped him develop confidence and self-esteem.

Since he is like me in so many ways, I wondered if I’d modeled high self-esteem, and it rubbed off on him. Before falling back asleep, I did a little inventory, and I concluded that I think I have solid self-esteem. 

I woke up feeling surprised, because I’d never really thought of myself as a high self-esteem person. Not very confident. Indecisive.  Worried I’d make a mistake. Deflecting compliments. I felt good about myself in certain areas. But in the end, I had some work to do.

Stephanie’s Alzheimer’s has been a game changer for me in terms of emotional development. I’m more confident. I’m decisive. I make good decisions. I’m dedicated and committed to being the best husband and father I can be. I’m very patient. I also know I don’t know everything and enjoy learning from people who do. I’ve gotten better at asking for help (not a strong suit.) 

Not my preferred route to personal growth, but I feel pretty good about how I’m doing in the world. After all, if I don’t navigate life well, my family is in a boatload of trouble.

### ***How about you?***

I see a few concrete steps to build self-esteem. I suggest you spend a significant amount of time forming an exhaustive list of all the areas you feel good about yourself. Celebrate what you’re proud of. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of yourself. (I think we get the message that acknowledging our strengths is bad. It’s bragging and arrogant…Don’t fall for this.)

Once you’re on solid ground, consider areas where you feel badly about yourself. Maybe you’ve been sarcastic and hurt others’ feelings. Maybe you feel badly because you keep skipping work because you’re hung over. Maybe you’ve been lying frequently.

Before starting to get down, stop yourself and remind yourself of all that you do that’s good. Focus on just how much of you that is positive. Use these as a springboard for reflecting on areas of change and growth. You aren’t a bad person for making mistakes. You are a good person who makes mistakes but keeps moving forward and having many more wins than losses. Doing the best you can.

Periodically, do an inventory of your successes. Acknowledge areas where you’ve always been strong and look at the personal growth and improvement you’ve made. As you let these positives in and continue focusing on areas of growth, your self-esteem will grow.

It’s a simple strategy. It just takes focus, time and effort.

Until next time…